Hello

My name is Edward (Ed) Caldwell. Some old people that I know call me Eddy.  I'm married with two daughters, one dog and more than one cat. I have a distant background as a professional artist and a less distant background as an electronics technician for a major technology company. I'm currently employed as a circuit board designer, commonly referred to as 'PCB Designer'... the electronic computer aided design (ECAD) part of an engineering team that produces electronic circuit board assemblies. For the past several years, most of my ECAD work has been centered around circuit boards that help make the internet work.  

I can be reached by Email at: ed@eds-art.net 

Clear Air Turbulence

This is a picture of me and another family member... I'm the one with both eyes closed.

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I have bipolar disorder but it's ok... there are worse issues people can have and there are many people with bipolar that lead successful lives. Modern medications and a cautious lifestyle are the two main ingredients for success. Working with a doctor and their support group along with activities that do not represent episode “triggers” is fundamental. A key is learning to recognize the mood triggers and avoiding them where possible. There are some good books that help too, such as Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder by Julie Fast and Dr. John Preston. If you know someone with bipolar I recommend giving the book a read, it's designed to help family and friends also.

life is sometimes like abandonment of reason focusing beyond what can be seen yet somehow from within the confines of this evolving universe... it's like climbing a tree looking for what can be found... and finding the reality fleeting and conditional... many times I wish for perfect vision... that illusive venue into the why and how and what is what should never be...

In my earlier life encounters with up and down episodes, I was inspired to create an image that represented the mood swings I experienced. I call the pen and ink, Manic Depression...

...the lower left end of the image (an upside down caricature of a human head) represents depressed thinking... the upper right end of the image (an upside up caricature of a dragon) is representing manic and racing thoughts. The tiny dragon (or monster) inside the depressed human head illustrates the suicidal thought lurking in the depressed brain while the manic fire breathing dragon at the opposite pole illustrates the energetic insanity. The common thread between the two extremes is the individual experiencing the dual (bipolar) disorder.

Racing thoughts can have a life of their own… at its worse, it feels like someone else is controlling the brain… this can be very painful mentally as well as physically, kind of like sitting in the pilot’s seat of a jet aircraft with an array of external remote controlling operators deciding where, what and how fast the plane will go and each operator has a different flight plan fighting for control. This extremely unpleasant condition can be horrifying and bewildering at the same time. It could be comparable to watching a suspenseful horror movie that does not make sense or provide a break in the tension. Sometimes the racing thoughts can be more vivid, even pleasant and make perfect sense to the individual but not to other people. Delusions of grandeur are common in the manic state. Suicidal thoughts are also possible during the manic phase.

Depressed thinking can be even more serious in that it more commonly can lead to suicide. To the depressed individual, life can seem too much to bear. At its worst, death appears to be relief. At its least, depression stifles the pleasure of everyday life and initiates a negative inward focus. Depression takes the individual away from interacting with others, even loved ones. Depression alienates and disconnects. At both extreme states, the individual needs medical support and guidance from outside.

Currently, there's not a cure for bipolar disorder, however, science has developed several drugs that can help the brain operate without the extreme manic and depressed conditions. Having a caring and stable home life is a great advantage. Managing disorders is much easier with people around you that want to help. 

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