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works and words from...

Ed Caldwell

Canton, GA, USA


Photo credit: Phoebe Chen

TwistED Cosmics

ED - is used in many words (mostly at the end)...


Due to my close encounters with peripatetic black holes and my alleged ancestral space alien genes I have been left with a certain lacking in various earthbound cognitive characteristics. I have been accused of being a little bit corny... seems I have this cranial limp that surfaces frequently like bubbles in a turtle filled pond.


Sometimes I tend to freeze up... emulating an inanimate cold stone statue in the dead of winter... like when I contemplate the incomprehensible vastness of our wide sweeping seeable wonderment of a universe from my relatively tiny little insignificantly incy wincy spot on our relatively tiny little incy wincy meandering - keeps going around in circles - planet...


Rousing Rotational Rationalizations


SUN AM – It's a good thing we can't feel the Earth move is all I have to say about that...

MON AM – And so another work week day begins... in darkness... until the eyelids raise as the sun rises and we are risen to demon’s dark demise

TUE AM – Night has lowered its shadowy veil and allowed the un-beckoned light to permeate the pores of the sleeping soul

WED AM – Once again morning's madness wins out over the night time's notorious battle with the surreal subconscious

THU AM – Night loosens its ghostly grip as the day begins to engage our endeavor toward existentially enlightened senses

FRI AM – At last, darkness is absorbed by light's gradual and persistent advance until sleep is conquered by ephemeral reality

SAT AM – Blissful sleep inevitably escapes our stubborn grasp and we endeavor to join the procession in which all living souls participate... not always willingly but always existentially given the absence of irrational episodic behavioral tangents... 


In reference to Hugh Ross's book Improbable Planet, our current 24 hour rotational period is a slowed down rate from Earth's earlier history... Turns out (Ha! A pun!) this 24 hours is an optimal rate for advanced life's functional activities... So we are in a kind of wonderful solar and earthly life supportive time domain apex!







Image credit:  NASA

Mind Melt Meanderisms


VANTAGE POINT I – If civilization had first developed in the southern hemisphere our maps would be upside down. And if we really wanted to spin things around... our maps would be sideways.

PHYSICS I – I'm not always here in the true sense of the word "here", but I'm always some "where" due to the restrictive nature of physical laws. However, at some point, I may be forever anywhere at anytime due to the nonrestrictive nature of spiritual laws. (Learned the spiritual part from religion studies and the physical part from my wife's periodic calling "Ed... Ed!... Ed!!... Stop thinking, you're scaring the children!")

ART – It's the audience that completes a work. I'm grateful for my many blessings especially my family and for my humbling encounter with the six year old blind boy that told me he wanted to become a race car driver as he was feverishly pressing buttons on his hand held video game he could hear but not see.

TIME I – Somewhere between time Zones, Daylight savings time, Greenwich Mean time, Military time, Astronomical time, Atomic time, Earth rotation time, Ephemeris time, Sidereal time, Solar time, Julian time, Father time, and the meantime is an illustration of the fact that no time is like any other time except that it is now everywhere at the same time.

PHYSICS II – Infinity is way beyond human comprehension... (i.e.) How high is up? I've heard it is twice as far as halfway up. I also believe that if you're traveling faster than the speed of light... well... uh... never mind... I expect you'd better concentrate on what's UP in front of you!  

MEMORY – see BRAIN see BRAIN... Oh, I said that already.

TIME II – Why do we say "kill time"... it never dies. 

BEHAVIOR I – Normal CAD behavior is personified by navigation in and out of black holes... violating many scientific principles. It is a mysterious skill and not without certain negative repercussions... I being an adequate example.

PHYSICS III – Due to our finite human universe, words and phrases are bound to repeat and be repeated repeatedly... Letters are a much worse problem.

BRAIN I – One thing I’ve noticed is that as we age we appear to become smarter... which explains why the hair on our head begins to gray. This graying-out is a direct result of brain overflow. As we acquire more smarts, we begin to gain excess “gray matter” which turns into a sort of human “flowering” of the head... similar to plant life when it reaches its cyclic and beautiful apex.

TIME III – Have you ever really thought about TIME... and how it waits for no one... not even you? Have you thought about it for a long time... a very long time? Did you wonder how long you were thinking about it and couldn’t come up with an answer? Did you realize at that point you were wasting TIME? Time is funny that way... it’s obvious that TIME likes to play jokes on us.

BEHAVIOR II - "CADzooks!"... Apprehensive operator expression derived from CPU terminal BLACK HOLE anomalies that instill momentary panic during critical but errant command entries. These junctures initiate at best an undo keystroke or at worst a computer system unrecoverable crash. They are typical lessons learned in CAD tool interaction regarding “what not to do”. There is no finite number of anomalies but if you learn enough of these you are considered a CAD expert.

PHYSICS IV – Coffee helps me write faster... making caffeine a “participle accelerator”.

SHAKE SPEARED - Dedicated to my friend Neufer...
What fright doth yon Winslow bake?
Tis the yeast and briquette is the bun. 
Arise fired bun and thrill the ravenous coon, 
who is ready to lick and smell as thief... 
that thou, err made, art far more fire than eats.

SICK HUMOR – Humor is good medicine no matter how sick we become... which is funny is a sick way.

BEHAVIOR III – Intellectual Paradoxical Interpretational Anomaly... thinking outside the box will either initiate Admiration and Accolades or Restriction and Restoration.

PHYSICS V –  I had an MRI scan... now my molecules must all be pointing north... Say! Maybe it will be more difficult for me to get lost.

CHERRIES I – On many subjects we don't always understand what we think we know. Take cherries for example... how can life be like a bowl of cherries if the cherries are dying in a restricting bowl. Doesn't this justly illustrate how self-centered, unhinged and twisted our thinking usually is? People see what they want to see and do not hear silence screaming... those poor pitiful cherries... plucked in their prime from their life support only to be humiliated and gawked at... trapped with no way out short of divine intervention... poor pitiful cherries... how can people be so cruel to place you in that predicament and humiliate you with their furtive gazes... insane with misplaced metaphor... poor poor pitiful cherries.

CHERRIES II – Some food for thought... Our life support is restricted to our home planet. We must take a little of Earth with us into space in order to survive. So when we adventure out beyond our home planet in a spaceship... then perhaps we ARE kind of like cherries in a bowl.

BRAIN II – Navel-gazing... Funny how everyone I grew up with looks old now. My mind's eye does not see the same person that I look at in the mirror.

BEHAVIOR IV – Did your parents ever tell you to “behave yourself” and did you ever respond? “Mom, [it's usually the mom] that is so undescriptive and non-committal on your part... you know, as two meager examples, there is GOOD and BAD behavior. So telling me to ‘behave myself’ is open to my personal interpretation.” ...And if you did reply in such a manner to your parent... are you still alive today?

PHYSICS VI – Question: What do you get when you cross a physicist with a cat? Answer: A furry scientist that gets a big bang out of string theory and is either dead, alive or both simultaneously. 

VANTAGE POINT II – Perspective is a unique perception and perception is a unique perspective. Everybody has at least one.

PHYSICS VII – Wi-Fi Antenna Abridgment... Intelligent communication and performance is relative to proximity from the receiving/transmitting device plus a reliance on the ability to articulately capture and release fleetingly fast airborne electrons in a manner that entices energy to constructively focus its reciprocating peripatetic activity within the confines of protruding peculiarly sculpted electrically conductive material that is formed into strange multidimensional geometry.

SPACE EXPLORATION I – According to current extraterrestrial evidence... resisting intrinsic union with Earth is futile.

PHYSICS VIII – There’s only one planet we live on and it just keeps going around in circles.

METEOR SHOWERS – It seems to me that "showers" is a pale descriptor for burning rocks hurtling toward us at great speed.

SPACE OBJECTS – Astronomy is over my head.

BEHAVIOR V – Best Earthbound Friend... My wife does not believe I am human. She said most people would be frightened to see space alien invaders but I would have a family reunion.

BLACK HOLES I – If you ever want to get rid of something... throw it in a black hole... and if you get close enough... no one will see you do it.

SPACE INVASION – Our only hope from galaxy conquering hostile aliens would be that they're lactose intolerant.

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS – If you ever meet a space alien... do not show fear, instead be very very friendly and invite them over for dinner. If they don’t eat you... there may be hope for the rest of us.

BLACK HOLES II – In spite of popular scientific belief, black holes are void of problems. In a black hole, there is no difference between an issue and a non-issue. If I have an issue and you do not... and we hold hands and jump onto a black hole... when we pass the event horizon into the singularity our issue and non-issue are indistinguishable.

SPACE ALIENS – Two hostile space aliens were eating a clown... one looked at the other and asked, “...this taste funny to you?” (...taken [distorted] from ancient human archives)

BEHAVIOR VI – We all have stress in our lives. If you imagine stress as having a tangible shape which is constantly changing like a surreal dream about invading space aliens... then you realize that the most important things in life are aluminum foil and a front porch.

OUTER SPACE I – I just hope the Voyagers aren’t going to be violating any intragalactic federation territorial treaties... at this lowly stage in our development, I don’t expect we would be able to appease any civilization that would generate such a treaty... of course we should have an out since no one informed us of a treaty, but then again there’s no telling what to expect when it comes to space aliens... 

ORIENTATION I – A friend told me that I'm "space oriented". I told her that's an oxymoron... especially regarding my personal attributes. "Space" describes the distance between objects occupying what would otherwise be more space. "Oriented" indicates cognizance of one's place at or within any structure or situation. I hold no claim to not occupying a portion of space nor do I hold claim to cognizance of any sort.

BLACK HOLES III – I believe there’s an irrational fear regarding what “they” say about the physics experiments that are creating tiny temporary black holes at leading edge particle accelerators (...not to be confused with participle accelerators)... if physicists ever actually make the tiny black holes larger and stable, it would solve the problem of waste disposal and resolve all humanity’s differences.

SPACE EXPLORATION II – From what I gather about traveling thru outer space at unimaginable speed... if the rate of speed is great enough, you can traverse time in a controlled manner such that the universe unfolds before you do.

ORIENTATION II – What's up?... Is this a mental or directional question? And why do we throw this question out so casually to people we see? Perhaps it is because we want to make certain that, like ourselves, no one else knows the answer either. This is possibly the most complicated question perplexing mankind (womankind is far more likely to know).

THE MENTAL 'UP' is a constant variable and can easily be any thought available to the human mind at any instant and regarding any circumstance. The 'up' you may be currently processing in your mind would be relative to your life experience and resulting notion regarding the meaning and existence of 'up'. Were it not for your reading this meandering message, your 'up' could be any thought or combination of thoughts within the capacity of your uniquely developed brain. You could be relating to anything from your past, present or future, depending on your state of mind at the moment you realize you are thinking about something.

THE DIRECTIONAL 'UP' can be anything in any direction from any given point in the universe. Were it not for your pre-existing notion of where 'up' is, relative to where YOU are, 'up' could very well be in any direction at the initial instant you realize you are conscious, such as, when you wake up... during your wake up... after you fall down... Pointed example> Imagine your self, in a familiar surrounding, leisurely free-floating and slowly spinning and tumbling in a weightless condition, like a spaceman or spacewoman. You will probably have selected the familiar surrounding you are in right now as your reference for 'up'. Now change the reference for 'up' from the surrounding to your relaxed and weightless body... Now your familiar surrounding is spinning and tumbling! Kind of like the planet you live on and this meandering thought.

OUTER SPACE II - Many of us have a tendency to run out of space. For example, cosmologists and sometimes commonologists like myself, speculate as to what might be outside our visible universe. It is of course, no use to us humans... it could be anything like... say... a storage space that we humans could only complain about since we have no control over the order of things in the universe. What good is a storage facility if we can't reach it to store things! But is likely a very good thing that humans have no control over order in the universe. Can you imagine lowly humans with that kind of power!? We would probably end up with NOTHING in the visible universe but cowbells...



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